YesBut count on me - Part 2

Continued from yesterday.

Bart was the first winner of YesBut’s Images Caption of the Week Award with his caption for the photo posted on 19th June 2007:

“84 squares, 85 square, 86 squares, orange and green blockades . . . ? Oh crap, now I‘ve lost count . . . 1 square, 2 squares . . .”

This story is dedicated to Bart, (continued from yesterday):

I made plans the evening before the meeting; I would leave for the office early to avoid too much traffic and people. I went through my wardrobe and selected a dark grey two piece suit a white silk blouse and finally my best underwear - which always made me feel good.

My palms were wet as I left my flat; my neighbour was waiting at her door to wish me luck. Taking a deep breath I stepped outside. As I walked along the pavement I gained confidence, or so I thought. Until I saw the underground station. Reaching the road crossing where I had been knocked down, I saw the green man was illuminated indicating it was safe to cross. But I didn’t know how long it had been on, what if it turned red while I was half way across the road? I waited until it turned red, then green again, but I just stood rooted to the curb with beads of perspiration forming on my brow and upper lip.

I stood at the edge of the pavement while the light changed again to red. Cars, buses, motorcycles speeded passed and cyclists hurtled past me. A woman came and stood next to me, she smiled, something that just isn’t done in London, each commuter normally remaining cocooned in an invisible isolation bubble, neither speaking to or acknowledging the existence of others. That gave me courage, when the light turned to green I stepped forward thinking “please God, touch wood let me cross safely”.

I repeated the mantra until I reached the other pavement. I had not only made it across the road, I had also discovered how to remain safe. As I entered the underground station I repeated to myself “please God, touch wood let me be safe”. Throughout the journey I repeated “please God, touch wood let me be safe, please God, touch wood let me be safe”. It worked because I made it safely to the office. I was consequently happy to agree to return to my old job the following Monday.

The journey home was equally uneventful. I knew I was safe as long as I repeated my mantra. But it was a relief when I got back to my flat. I knew to ensure my safety I had to be methodical. On entering the flat I checked each room to ensure everything was in order. I switched on the lights to make sure they worked. I went back to each room to check I had switched off the lights. Then I made myself a cup of tea. To ensure nothing went wrong, as I waited for the kettle to boil, I counted the tiles on the wall above the sink unit. I knew I had to be careful, counting the tiles on the row from left to right, then the next row down from right to left. I knew if I continued to count each row from left to right I would go too far into the unknown future, while continuing to count from right to left would take me back to the danger of the past.

I became very careful. When typing at work I would ensure to save after every five words, and to make a backup to disc every ten lines. Leaving my desk I would double check that each draw was closed and locked; and any files or paper on the desk had to be not less than 3 cm from the edge of the desk. I wasn’t quite ready to go out for drinks after work, because I knew I had to keep a clear head.

I was surprised when my supervisor called me into his office to discuss my work performance. He suggested that people were concerned that I might no longer have the qualities necessary for my job, without being specific he suggested I might consider seeking help. He told me to take two weeks paid leave in which time I might discuss any problems I might have with my doctor or a councillor. I was puzzled why a councillor - I was completely in control of my life, as long as I meticulously followed all the things I knew worked to keep me safe.

To be continued tomorrow - Bookmark this page