YesBut birds the word - Part 2

Continued from yesterday.

For YesBut’s Image posted on 6th August 2007, ozlady 's suggestion the caption -

“Having slayed the dreaded Backpacker, the pigeon sauntered across the railway station, disappearing into the flock of docile pigeons like the trained assassin he was.”

The photo suggested to me the following story, (continued from yesterday):

So your back. If you think I’m going to tell you dirty stories about what I’ve seen through bedroom windows, your mistaken. Though, there was the time . . . no, no, get behind me Saturn. Mustn’t give in to temptation. I’ve got my reputation to protect. And lets face it, us pigeons haven’t got much reputation left.

Myself, I blame that Ken Livingstone. What is he? Mayor of London or something. All I know he has it in for us pigeons, calls us “Flying rats”. This is the man who keeps newts as pets. Come on lets be serious, who would keep newts as pets? Can’t take them for a walk. Can’t teach them to talk. Can’t through sticks for them to chase. What earthly use are they? What earthly use is he? Its because of him, I had to leave Trafalgar Square. Had a real nice life down there, tourists to feed you, nip onto the windowsills of the National Gallery whenever I wanted a bit of culture. Then there were the protest rallies held there. Many a time I’ve left a white blob on a politicians head. Perhaps one of them was Ken - hope so.

Bit of luck, at the time I was looking for a new place to live, I met a distant cousin, nice lad. He mentioned the potentials of living in railway stations. Around about the same time, I was having a stroll through Green Park when I heard a mother tell her son the story of Paddington Bear. I thought, that sounds good; perhaps if I go there someone might take me home.

Been here three months, and still waiting. But its an interesting place, meet some interesting people. Last week there was a fellow over there reading a book, looked over his shoulder. All about karma. Do you believe in that? Was being born a pigeon a reward or a punishment? And if I’m a good well behaved pigeon, what will I be born as in the next life? Gives you something to think about. Tried to discuss it with the chap reading the book, but all he did was shoo me away, and complained to his wife about that damn bird’s cooing stopping him read.

Just look over my shoulder see her. Going to a pop festival. Catching up on her sleep before the raving starts. Though I reckon she’s on drugs. Well lets face it, who’d sleep in a railway station. I know what your thinking - me. But this is only temporary. I was thinking of moving on and taking the Heathrow Express, but I’ve since heard the airport is chaotic, queues everywhere, lost luggage. So I’ve decided to stay here a little bit longer.

Look if you’re intending to stay, let me give you a little advice. If you want to survive you got to have attitude. No not attitude but ATTITUDE. You know what I mean, you’ve got to walk the walk and talk the talk. No skulking around corners. Let me show you. See that woman over there eating a sandwich, watch this.

See what happened, she had to give me a piece, not only of bread but the meat inside. You walk up to them look straight in their eyes, and by shear willpower challenge them to dare not to give you food. Works every time.

Well wasted enough time talking to you, I’ve got to meet my bird for a little bit of cooing and cuddling. Might see you again. But don’t forget ATTITUDE.