YesBut the picture doesn't lie - Part 2

Continued from yesterday.

For YesBut’s Image posted on 12th August 2007, david McMahon posted the caption -

"Sketchy details on missing man"


The photograph suggested the following story to me (continued from yesterday):

Pushing into my face, the sketch I had made of his two children, he demanded to know what my game was. What was I to say:
“They were the ugliest children I’d ever seen, and I’d tried to make them look more presentable!”.

I stammered my apology as I handed back the £15. He said he didn’t want the money, he wanted a sketch of his little angels.

The conundrum was, should I make further adjustments to make them more attractive, or to produce an accurate sketch? What a relief when I saw a policeman saunter towards us. From the look on his face I could see he obviously had had previous dealings with the ‘Ape‘.

“Can I help?”
I took him to one side and explained the situation.
There are some days, when you wish you’ve stayed in bed. This was one of those. How was I to know that the policeman was the children’s uncle!

From somewhere I had a flash of inspiration. I suggested to the father.

“Look I could make a perfect sketch of your children, but wouldn’t you like to do it yourself. Why don’t you go with your wife’s brother to the police station and make a “Photofit“ of the children“.

I had to bite my lip to stop myself adding “in common with passport photos, photofits make everyone look like criminals. “

An hour latter he was back, smiling from one cauliflower ear to the other.

“Thanks very much, brilliant idea, just look at them, aren’t they beautiful. I’m off to get the picture framed”.
Every time the policeman passes he gives me a objurgate look. I think I’d better find another town to set up my pitch.

YesBut the picture doesn’t lie - Part 1

For YesBut’s Image posted on 12th August 2007, david McMahon posted the caption -

"Sketchy details on missing man"

The photograph suggested the following story to me:

You would think trying to earn a living sketching portraits for £10 a time would be an innocuous occupation; and so it was until that fateful day.

I had seen her pass, several times, but hadn’t paid any attention to her children. So when she asked me to sketch two of the children, I was quite pleased. I said I would do one sketch of the two for £15. It was only when the children sat in front of me, that my heart sank.

This was going to be a challenge, never in my life had I see two so ugly children. Now please don’t misjudge me, I’m not saying their faces were physically deformed, they were just ugly. When they were babies, people must have gone up to her to admire her pet chimpanzees, and given them bananas. What was I to do? Should I sketch an accurate likeness, or should I make “slight” adjustments to make them look reasonably attractive?

It was obvious she wasn’t pleased with the result. Though she did give me the £15. Well within 20 minutes she was back, accompanied by the children’s father - the family resemblance was obvious. Now how can I describe him. 6’ - 3” tall, at least 280lbs of wobbling fat. A beer-gut hanging over his belt. I gave up after four, counting the number of chins he had. Looking at his ears he was obviously an ex-rugby player. (For those of you who aren’t aficionados of the glories game, I’ll leave you Google “cauliflower ear”). Looking at his nose he was obviously an ex-boxer. And looking at the expression on his face - I was in trouble.

To be continued tomorrow - Bookmark this page.