For YesBut’s Image on the 9th June Helena suggested the caption
“Busker caught in sudden cold spell”.
The picture suggested the following story to me: -
As a teenager Brian would spend hours in front of the mirror in his bedroom playing an air-guitar and miming to his favourite record, Elvis Presley’s “Blue Suede Shoes”. He dreamt of being a pop star, to have thousands of girls adulating him, to be rich and famous.
But Brian’s parents had other ideas. Being a cautious and conservative pair they wanted their son to have a “secure, safe life”. This meant that young Brian had to train to be an accountant. There was only one problem; Brian wasn’t very good at mathematics. He got confused very easily, particularly over conversion factors. This weak point would one day be the cause of his downfall.
Somehow he managed to qualify to be an accountant, mainly through ingratiating himself with his lecturer by sleeping with her. This was quite a sacrifice to make as she had a fear of vampires; and to protect herself chewed garlic. After qualifying he got a job working for a large chain of hardware stores. Although he was an accountant he still dreamt of being a pop star.
With his first wage he bought himself a plectrum. He was disappointed that it didn’t improve his air-guitar playing. With his next month’s salary he bought a teach yourself guitar playing manual. Again further disappointment. He realised there was no way for him to tune his air-guitar, there was only one solution. He bought himself a harmonica. Though he learnt to play it, he realised harmonica players do not have thousands of girls chasing after them. Finally he fulfilled his destiny and bought a second hand guitar.
As soon as he saw it in the back of a second hand store he knew that it was the guitar for him. Painted blue it reminded him of his favourite song, “There’ll be blue birds over the White Cliffs of Dover”. He practiced diligently, perhaps too much, because it started to interfere with his work. On the fatal day he had been sent to a store to do a stock-take. If he hadn’t been thinking about a new song he was practicing he would have realised that the tins he was counting were litre not pint tins of paint. As a result, with the stock-take showing a 56% deficiency in paint stocks the store manager was fired.
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